rzrachelzoe:

In need of a great new handbag this Spring? Isn’t everyone? That’s why I’m giving away the incredibly chic Joni Hobo from my collection! Reblog this post for a chance to be entered to win.

Contest is open to US and International residents from February 27th-March 3rd.

Good Luck to all my fellow fashion obsessed! xoRZ

See contest rules here

Inspiration/impetus to achieve the impossible - to make classy-fied a mismatch of the classic curtains/drapes/Grouchos: Chloe Autumn/Winter 2011 Ready-to-Wear.

Dome courtesy of Wella Light Drabber #50, Groucho/Frida Kahlo courtesy of M.A.C. Cream Color Base in Root.

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If you have lived in New Jersey, particularly along the Northeast Corridor, or in any geographical swath considered >90% metropolitan (http://facts.kff.org <— fun stuff), you have undoubtedly acknowledged the continuous presence of moisture, mildew, rotting plywood and pervasive rust that coalesce in an urban swamp of sorts.

If this landscape is enough to deter one from touching the walls, it’d likely serve in a similar capacity on one’s face - as urban armor.

Industrial orange? Perfect for directing traffic, flagging noxious substances and enticing deer. Seemingly unhelpful in warding off unwanted attention on the street, though…or so I thought.

One of the simplest ways to amp up your urban or semi-urban defenses - don your urban armor - is to appear fairly normal, with just the slightest hint of insanity. If you look like a basket case, people will cling to the opposite edge of the sidewalk, right?

Naturally, you don’t necessarily want to resemble a 28 Days Later understudy while going about your daily business. Therefore, the transformation must be expedient. The process and materials involved are insanely simple. Take your standard, 9-5 appropriate, friendly-person face:

+ Add perceived threat:

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I completely skipped out on the teeny-bopper phase. I mean of course there was some non-Mom-sanctioned lipgloss use, I believe I purchased a Christina Aguilera album - and there was no shortage of genuine awkwardness. The posters, locker decor (though I’m sure the decorum was more memorable for many of us) and teen idol 10pm fantasies were markedly absent.

 Except for one. 

(season 1 - episode 5 - “Never Kill a Boy on the First Date”)

Incidentally, I feel as though you probably would slay a boy on the first date in this absolutely incredible plush leopard/cheetah hooded jacket. This is like a wearable childhood toy - and when is that not desirable? The addition of a hospital cafeteria - issued takeout cup gives you the option of taking the already quasi - 90s mallrat look to a new level - cracked out former 90s mallrat taking a smoke and diet coke break in the parking lot of the loony doc (never mind the fact that Buffy is chilling in the cemetary - another preteen hangout of mine, naturally). 

If anyone reading this knows where to acquire a garment like this for cheaps, let me know, because I’m already working the Buffy-esque good girl/bad girl/kinda malnourished girl lip:

(MAC Fresh Brew, L’Oreal Linda’s Beige #907)

And what makes this look such good armor, exactly? While animal prints traditionally attract the ever-unwanted attention of stoop-dwellers while in my city residence, the combo of protective polyester fleece cheetah with I-might-have-the-rage bluish brown corpse lip does give off a certain “don’t fuck with me today” vibe.

While venturing around my cornfield-laden hometown - well, I’ll simply have to watch out for the pickup truck crowd and their rural tools of the trade, lest they mistake me for future taxidermy.

I am going to Berkeley next week. You can find this guy in Berkeley. I can’t wait!!